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cassiekarch

Who Pursues?

Being raised in ministry, I was taught that when it comes to courting and dating, the man is supposed to be the pursuer.   The bible Proverbs 18:22 tells us "when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord."  If you break down that scripture, it's saying the man does the courting. According to a google search, courtship has been a fundamental part of human existence in Western cultures where marriage is the only way to produce legitimate offspring (Oh ok, so that means anyone who has kids outside of marriage are not legitimate) I beg to differ.  Google also stated that the earliest known use of the word "courtship" in English is from 1558 in translation by Anthony Munday, a playwright and translator.  In the 16th century, it meant "playing court to a woman with the intention of marriage."


So here we are in the 21st century, do you think that still remains true?  I want to say yes, but then I also say no.  I was listening in on Instagram LIVE the other day and this subject came up. It was a very interesting and educational topic because I actually learned a lesson or two.  The host was speaking and asked one of the women on the panel a question.  The woman met a man the day before and was supposed to be going on a date with him two days later. The host asked her if she was still going on her date the next day, to which she responded she didn't know, if he texted or called her, she would.  She told the host, this was how she was raised in ministry, to which another lady on the panel agreed. Then the host objected and asked a few more questions.  


1.      Were you ever taught how to date? Her answer was No.

2.      Were your sons taught how to date, either by you or their fathers? Her answer was No.

3.      So, what makes you think that this man who you are supposed to go on a date has been taught either?


As he asked that question, you could see the men and women in the comments agreeing.  None of them, especially the men, had ever been taught how to date, let alone be the one who is doing the courting. No one ever sat them down and gave them the blueprint.  So, it’s safe to say that their fathers had the same experience in not knowing how to date either. The host then said, you don't think men like to be called or texted like women? He reminded us that we like to know we are desired as well, just like you all do.


Think about this for a minute. Whether you are in a relationship or not, how many of you were actually taught the blueprint of dating and/or courting? How is a person supposed to know if you are interested if we don't make the effort.  This lady was actually going to wait all day until the man reached out to her. What if he never reached out because he was waiting on her to reach out?  He already let his interest be known by asking her on a date.  All I am saying is, let’s re-evaluate how we interact with potential interests.  Back in the day before we had cell phones, we had to actually pick up the phone and call each other on our house phones or meet one another on the street somewhere.  We are all navigating this world full of so many people, let’s make a conscious effort to let our interests be known for whatever relationship we desire.


Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.


"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"

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