I was speaking to my mentor a few weeks back and we were talking about women operating in their masculinity. I didn’t realize I was giving off that vibe until I told her about an encounter I had with a man at the gym. I was lifting weights and noticed a man who caught my eye. His tattoos are what drew me in at first. But as I looked more, I thought he was handsome. Now I have always been taught that a closed mouth doesn’t get fed and to speak up. So, after admiring him for what seemed like 2 minutes, I walked over to him, tapped him on the shoulder and told him that I found him handsome. He said thank you and I walked away. I have always been told that men love to hear a women give him a compliment, but I didn’t realize I was operating in my masculinity.
According to Google, masculinity and femininity refer to an individual’s gender in terms of maleness and femaleness. Gender roles are those socially ascribed normative behaviors with respect to a given gender. No matter if you are straight or gay there is normally a masculine person and a feminine person in the relationship.
Now when she told me this I was taken back. But then we started to dig deeper. Men are the hunters, so they are looking for what they want. I was told, that sometimes when a woman approaches a man and offers herself to him, whether he is taken or not, if he’s attracted to said woman, he will take the bait. Often times, these women don’t even ask if these men are single or not. They just go in for the kill. Did I ask that man I was talking to if he was single? No because at the time I just wanted him to know that I thought he was handsome. But all I really needed to do was make eye contact, smile, and possibly nod. If he was interested, he would have approached me.
Because I have been single for a long time and raising my kids on my own, I have always operated in my masculinity. I have had to be the provider, protector, and leader of my family. I don’t want to have to operate that way anymore. I am trying to tap into my femininity. One of the suggestions my mentor gave me was to find a pole dancing class. I have been searching, I found a few but they are hours away and I don’t like to drive too much. I did find one in the next city but when I checked their schedule it didn’t look like they were accepting new clients. I am awaiting back a response from an email I sent them. Looking at some other dancing classes as well. Dancing is a great way for me to tap in the sensual side, and I need this.
If you are someone like me who is single and desires a male mate, you have to decide first if you want a have a long-term relationship or get married. For me, I am not sure. I go back and forth with the notion of marriage, but for sure I know I want a relationship. As I continue to work on myself; my mind (reading & meditating), my body (diet and exercise) and my spirit (talking to God, journaling & spending time in nature), I will be in a better place and able to receive the man who is for me and I for him.
I am a female who wants to be seen as woman (or should this say, operate in my femininity). Maybe you are a woman too, but you present masculine because you are lesbian and attracted to females. Or you could be a male who operates more in your femininity, and you desire a man who is masculine. Both are okay too. Do what works for you to allure the right mate for you. Just make sure you are loving yourself first. Love every bit of you, flaws, and all.
Sending you love, light and positive vibes,
Cassie K.
"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"
I want to do a pole class too. I think it's a great workout but I can work on my sexy and confidence at the same time. Oh I wish a couple of us could do this together.
Pole dancing classes sound fun!