When thinking about being in a romantic relationship the question came up on how I want to be loved and I had to sit on that for a moment and think. Never ever have I been loved the way I believe I should have been and now someone wants to know how I want to be loved. That is a pretty deep question if you asked me. I submitted this same question to a few of my single girlfriends and their immediate answer was to go to sex. I wasn't even thinking about that until they brought it up. I had to dig deep, and what I came up with is that I want to be loved by my partner by showing his genuine interest in me. I want to be protected and cherished. I want to be supported and encouraged. I want to be listened to and understood. You know what can be hard about identifying the ways in which you want love, these same traits can show up in an imposter who presents all these qualities to get you and once they have you, they start to fade away because they can only keep up the act for so long before they get burned out trying.
Think about it, we all grew up in different households, different backgrounds, and we all perceive things differently based on our upbringing. Each of us has life experience that the other may not have. How can you expect your person to love you the way you want and need if you don't tell them how. So many of us want something that we have never seen before. I grew up in a single parent household, my mother barely knew how to love herself, let alone let a man love her the way she needed to be loved. And when a nice man did come into her life, she was so accustomed to the beatings and disrespect that she didn't know how to receive genuine love from a caring man and that relationship only lasted a couple years before he was gone, and she was back to being disrespected again.
The story of Leah in the bible, she wanted to be loved and cherished by Jacob, but he loved her sister Rachel. Jacob fell in love with Rachel and asked her hand in marriage. Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah by their father so he despised her. Can you imagine being in love with someone who doesn't love you back the way in which you need them too? Leah did everything she could to earn the love of Jacob, she even gave him children, but this was never enough. He just didn't want her; he wanted her sister Rachel. You can read more about this story in Genesis 29 starting at verse 17.
So, I ask you. How can someone love you? What do you need from someone you are romantically involved with to feel safe, secure, and cherished? According to the bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, the essence of love is patience and kindness. Love isn't puffed up with its own importance, nor is envious or boastful. Love never behaves rudely or disorderly. Love does not think about itself, does not get angry, and does not keep record of any wrongs committed. In love, there is no room for evil, but there is always room for truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes for all things, and endures all things. Love will not fail.
What we must remember is that love is action and not just a feeling. Love means saying goodbye to expectations. Love is safety for one another. Love is listening to one another. Love is communicating and clarifying. Love is recognizing each other's differences and embracing them. Love is so many things to all of us and only you know what kind of love you need to assist you in this journey called life! I hope you receive all the love you desire from this day forward.
Sending you love , light and positive vibes,
Cassie K.
"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"
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