A couple of weeks ago I was at mentorship, and we were discussing the five love languages. We discussed the ways in which our parents/caregivers showed us love. How the way we received the love them from impacted our preferences for our love languages today. We also shared what our favorite love languages were to give and to receive from others.
For those of you who you may not know, the main five love languages are:
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Gift Giving
At first thought of how my parents showed me love, I began to reflect back on how my mother never hugged me or told me that I was doing a good job. She would constantly criticize me but never give me praise. When I began to share this with the facilitator of our meeting, she immediately stopped me and told me that my mom did show me love. My moms way of showing love was to provide for me. She made sure I had clothes on my back, food in my stomach and a warm bed to sleep in. But in the moment of the conversation, I was not thinking of that type of love. When I was thinking of LOVE, my mind went straight to intimacy in the form of touch and words of affirmation. It wasn't until I moved in with my grandmother, that I received the hugs and praise. Even though grandma stepped in and filled that void, the damage had already been done by my mom and was deeply rooted in my psyche. I, in turn brought that non-verbal and non-physical love into the way that I raised my kids. The difference between my mom and I was that I always celebrated my kids for their birthday and showed up to their events. But I can't remember how often I hugged them and I know if I asked them now, they would be sure to tell me.
So do you you know your favorite love languages are, to receive and to give to others? My top two love languages for myself are quality time and physical touch. Even if all we can do is spend a few quality moments on a phone call, that means the world to me, especially with someone I love. When I am in community, giving and receiving hugs is a must. We all could use more hugs in this world. Now when I think of how I like to love on others, my top two favorite love languages are gift giving and acts of service.
So many times we operate in a way that is beneficial to us but never stop to ask the person on the receiving end what they like. Its so important to know and understand each others love languages. Will our love languages stay the same? Absolutely not. I believe our Love Languages can change over time, depending the relationship.
I urge you to learn more about the 5 Love Languages and it can help you in your every day life. You can take the quiz below and put a name to what you may already know.
Sending you love, light and positive vibes,
Cassie K.
"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything the LOVE unconditionally!"
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