A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone, and she said something that bothered me. She said, "I see the only way we will talk is if I call you." At that very moment, I was taken back a little. I responded, “I just don't call people unless I have something to talk about, and you already know the only person I call every day is my dad to check in on him. She then said, “oh so only what you need to say is what's important to you?” I assured her that’s not what I meant. I immediately switched the subject and asked her a few questions about what was happening in her life, and she proceeded to tell me and that was that.
Now some of you might be wondering why I was taken aback or bothered. Well, when we first started our friendship, we understood what each of our communication styles were. I told her I am a texter until I have something to say and she told me she likes to talk on the phone. Now for me I often will send a good morning text, or a thinking about you text or I will send a card in the mail. What my friend does is she will facetime me and if I am not able to talk at that moment because I am out running errands or working, I will text her and tell her I will call her back when I am free. We live in different time zones and so it is challenging at times.
Now I can admit over the last few months, I have dropped the ball as my mind has been focused on work with the transition into new software and roles, finishing my second book, and I have been out in the community a lot giving my time and energy. As long as we have been friends, I have never been the one to call first. I don't really talk on the phone like that and if I can't give you my full attention, why even bother. If any of you know me personally, you know that I won't even entertain a conversation if I am doing something else. I have to be in a position to give and receive in that conversation. For me, I find it very rude if I am on the phone with someone (i.e. my dad) and I hear him doing something in the background. I will immediately call him out on it and tell him I will talk to him later.
I am not one to call someone and then vent about anything. I leave all that for my journal and these blog posts. Now I can admit that I fumbled the ball because I didn't reach out when my friend came across my spirit and that is why I do my best to take care of that immediately or else I will forget. So, I sent my friend a greeting card, encouraging her but also apologizing and assuring her I will do better. I will have to set an alarm for the people who mean a lot to me to make sure I am doing my part to hold up our friendship even in the midst of my busy life.
I say all that to say this because if someone you love calls you out on the carpet about a behavior you are exhibiting, take the time to reevaluate yourself and that friendship and then make the necessary changes. We must always remember, change is not change until it's changed and the change begins with you!
Sending you love, light and positive vibes,
Cassie K.
"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"
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