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cassiekarch

Are you a real friend?

Updated: Nov 3

According to Google, a friend is someone you know well, trust and like enough to spend time with regularly.  Friends can be people you've known for a long time or new people in your life. In my opinion, I think we use that term too loosely. Too many times we give someone the title of friend but really, they are our associates.  If someone is your friend in real life, you should be able to communicate with them if something is wrong or right and come to an understanding. An associate is typically someone you know through professional, academic, or social settings. Relationships with these people are more transactional or situational, focused on specific interests or goals rather than personal connection.

 

A couple months back a "friendship" that I had ended abruptly, and I don't why. Normally, I would have been all in my feelings and beat myself up over what I could have done to assist in this severance, but I know for a fact this time I had nothing to do with it.  I met this friend during the pandemic. We had a lot of common interests, likes and dislikes and we bonded over our love for comedy. We both supported each other in the ways we needed. We didn't talk often, but when we did video chat, we would talk for more than an hour catching up. The last time I spoke to this friend was in June of this year. I knew they were working on a project that was due to be released in a couple of months so I thought I would give them space to work on it.  I saw from a mutual friend that they had completed their project, and I was so happy for them.  I immediately purchased it and tagged them on social media and shared it to my stories. I also took a screenshot and sent them a text message congratulating them (yes, we had each other's cell phone numbers).  The next day I went to see if they had viewed my text, and they hadn't.  So, I decided to send them a video message that morning at around 8 am. When I got off work that same day at 2:30 pm I went back onto social media into my messages and saw that I was blocked.  I said to myself in the moment, what in the world is going on? I felt slighted and disrespected so I immediately went and cancelled my order.   

 

This "friend" and I had shared intimate details about our lives with each other.  We encouraged each other in our times of need and celebrated each other's success.  We supported each other without question. We broke bread with each other and I met their spouse and children. It made me think, if we weren’t friends and were only associates, why would I have been invited to their house? It felt kind of messed up that they couldn't have picked up the phone and told me what they were feeling or what had happened to upset them. What caused this friendship to end it in such a way that you needed to act childishly and block me? In the past, I would have needed closure, but in this instance, God said to let it go.  After talking with two of my other friends, they allowed me to see things in a different light and I am at peace.  At the end of the day, friends communicate with each other, whether they are mad, sad, happy, or indifferent. They work through issues even when they disagree.  When you are in a true relationship with someone, you can work through anything.

 

Be careful who you give the title of friend to. Not everyone who is around you is always there for you. Some people are only around to get something from you. Once they have gotten what they want and/or need, they will disappear. Remember that friends are the people who we choose to connect with on a deeper, more personal level. They are often there through life's ups and downs, offering support, laughter, and companionship. Remember that friendships can take on different forms over time, from childhood friends to people we meet later in life, and each will require different efforts and maintenance.  When nurtured correctly, friendships are among the most rewarding and fulfilling relationships we can have.  They should add joy, connection and meaning to our everyday lives.  


And a quick shout to my daughter Olivia who is 29 today! I love you to life!!


Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.


"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"

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Convidado:
03 de nov.

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